My Inner Worlds
I began my yoga practice ten weeks ago today. In the beginning I was juiced, ecstatic every time I got home from a Yin class. Then my body progressed to tired, and I’d collapse in bed after a quick shower and no time spent with my dogs that evening. They resented my lack of attention, which led to a realization that I can’t have it all. I trimmed back on “my” time outside of yoga so I’d still be a good mom and a communicative partner to Matt, who understood my dilemma in a way our furry children couldn’t. So I haven’t read as much as I’d like, my writing time has dwindled, and I’m learning new house management processes (as in, maybe I don’t need to vacuum the floors every week or maybe the laundry can sit on top of the dryer, unfolded, until I can make the time to put everything in its place).
All of the above will naturally resolve itself as I continue yoga and everyone settles into new routines. However, I have knee pain. The Yin postures have opened my body and joints, and while you’re supposed to feel discomfort during class, and I do, the body is not to experience pain. I don’t believe it’s the Yin that has brought about the knee pain, but the inclusion of Bikram into my yoga practice. Two weeks into Bikram, the knees protested. I ignored it at first, but I can’t anymore. They hurt throughout the day, not just in class.
You might think, “Well, why don’t you stop?” The yoga has shown me a weakness in my muscular or tissue structure, and doing nothing will not strengthen what is weak. I’ve modified postures during class, which annoys my competitive self, but it’s the smart thing to do. I believe by continuing to practice Bikram my knees will become strong and the pain will disappear. I’m not adding more classes to my schedule, capping my practice at six to seven hours per week. I want to do more, but just like my family life, my body needs time to adjust to this major change in routine.
A pictorial representation of my potential—ready to open and glow like golden sunlight.